When you are in solitude you are in your natural state. There is nothing there to activate your inner wounds; Nobody’s actions, or their words, no one acting as the mirror for what you don’t wish to look at. Unless of course, your primary emotion when alone is loneliness, then spending time in silence may evoke sadness and thoughts of your self-perceived unworthiness. It is then that you might ask why you don’t like spending time with the person that will be with you until the end of your days. Have you created a story around why you are alone, or what it means to be alone, something lacking, with negative connotations?
If spending time with yourself is painful, then spending time with others has the potential to only create more pain dear one. Why? Because they are either a distraction so that you can avoid yourself, they are a vibrational match to your disliking of self or are using you in kind as just a fix for their own loneliness.
Beware of sacrificing discernment for your desire for companionship at the expense of authentic connection. You may just accept less desirable interactions, instances of disrespect both by the other, and violations taken against yourself. Even if it is just the offense of silencing your needs, stifling your power, or foregoing your desires. You may think of that loneliness and vow to never go back there by any means, convincing yourself that the pain inflicted by another is better than the sadness of your solitude.
Lovely, maybe you have chosen too many distractions time and time again, so you don’t have to face the loudness of your thoughts, the sting of your memories, the confusion of where to begin. It takes resolve to say no. To admonish what other people have said, what your charlatan of a mind tells you, and to start to tap your feet dear one to the faint pulse just above your solar plexus that gently reminds you that you are made with greatness and you have been chosen, that you are called to live your wildest dreams. I assure you if you weren’t, you would never have been stifled, oppressed, or misled.
It is unfortunate but beautiful at the same time that life’s strategy is to see what we are made of, if we choose the door of safety and smallness or if we choose to challenge the rules to look life in the face and prove that life is just a tool for our soul and we are not its’ prisoner. We always have the key and we are never alone. We exist in the passing wind, the rustling of the leaves, and in the laugh of a child. Indeed we are in a strange place, but we are only passing through here, enjoy the scenery and don’t go home from the trip having just talked about all of the places you wanted to go.
Stay blessed dear one.